Choices mark our life. They are constant through our days. Sometimes we can be unsatisfied in the places we end up or in certain circumstances that we have chosen to be in.
As I have been reflecting on this.. I remembered. I chose to be here. Right here sitting on my couch next to my husband. By the grace of God he has brought me to this season in my life where he has completely broken me to bring me back to Him once again. In the midst of an marriage that is just beginning, through crazy emotions and panic attacks, through changing jobs and not knowing what the future holds... God is still here.
He never left.
Like the lies I constantly believed that God was not faithful, strong or good, I have lived recently in a pit of complete emotional despair. But God IS faithful, strong and good as he has lead me through some new lifestyle choices to bring me back to a solid emotional state. Reading the Word, prayer and long talks with Luke has blessed me in so many ways, slowly taking the scales off my eyes to see how blessed I am and how GOOD my God is.
In the process of sanctification it is incredibly painful. Scraping at the very bottom of our soul, chiseling away the sin that we hold so dear. Praise God that he never lets us go but looks at us and sees Christ, sees His righteousness and forgives. The desperation of wanting God to take away more of the garbage not wanting to be left the same ever again is something that I have recently discovered. It's about finding a deep intimacy with my heavenly Father that my soul continues to long for.
And yes, I have found joy. God has given me eyes to see all that there is to be thankful for and that my hope, my security is found in Jesus, and Him alone.
As I have been reflecting on this.. I remembered. I chose to be here. Right here sitting on my couch next to my husband. By the grace of God he has brought me to this season in my life where he has completely broken me to bring me back to Him once again. In the midst of an marriage that is just beginning, through crazy emotions and panic attacks, through changing jobs and not knowing what the future holds... God is still here.
He never left.
Like the lies I constantly believed that God was not faithful, strong or good, I have lived recently in a pit of complete emotional despair. But God IS faithful, strong and good as he has lead me through some new lifestyle choices to bring me back to a solid emotional state. Reading the Word, prayer and long talks with Luke has blessed me in so many ways, slowly taking the scales off my eyes to see how blessed I am and how GOOD my God is.
In the process of sanctification it is incredibly painful. Scraping at the very bottom of our soul, chiseling away the sin that we hold so dear. Praise God that he never lets us go but looks at us and sees Christ, sees His righteousness and forgives. The desperation of wanting God to take away more of the garbage not wanting to be left the same ever again is something that I have recently discovered. It's about finding a deep intimacy with my heavenly Father that my soul continues to long for.
And yes, I have found joy. God has given me eyes to see all that there is to be thankful for and that my hope, my security is found in Jesus, and Him alone.
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