Sometimes tears are good. In the midst of sadness and hurt they cleanse the soul. Having a moment sitting on our shag carpet, legs crossed, thinking of the past.. Looking at my husband through watered eyes I bore my heart to him in a way I was always too afraid to ever do. My fear of rejection, still runs deep. I still struggle with it. But I finally was able to pin point when it came about. Those last two years of high school was some of the worst of my young life. Where feeling accepted was a rarity. The rejection from others that I experanced had damaged the way I had seen God, myself and others.

In those moments it brings me joy that my head is not hung in shame but held high knowing that this is what recovery looks like. Finally opening up the chambers in my heart that have been kept under heavy lock and key has brought so much freedom.

Im so thankful for the loving arms of my husband who wipes my tears and listens to me. I don't know what I'd do with out Luke. He's amazing. I couldn't have even asked for such a wonderful man.

New friendships being made has also helped me recovering from the way I've viewed myself for the last 5 years. What a blessing to know I have friends like, my sister in-law who understands my situations; girls in the church that we can talk to each other for hours on end and just stuff our faces with ice cream and chips.

God is slowly mending me. :)