This past month has been a life changer, to put it simply. The birth of our daughter has made me change in ways I didn't know possible and I am so thankful for it. I didn't know how to prepare myself for becoming a mother other then stocking up on diapers, baby clothes and making sure the nursery is ready. I don't think any amount of physical preparation can bring you to a place of complete confidence after you have your baby.
Life instantly became a cycle of feeding, burping, rocking, getting the baby to sleep and trying to find a balance in this new lifestyle. The lack of sleep has been a challenge and I didn't think that this would affect me as much as it has where I don't remember feeding Bri in the night. My mind seems cloudy and I forget things all the time, it's 100% worse than when I had pregnancy brain! Knowing myself I need to take more naps so that I can properly function during the day and at those early morning feedings.
My physical recovery has been one of the hardest parts and has been painful to say the least. Not being able to laugh or walk straight for the first week was so hard.. and not able to lift anything over 10 lbs for 6 weeks has been a daily struggle for me. I feel a little bit trapped in our own house since I can't go anywhere by myself since I cannot carry the carseat. Since it's been a month I can say I almost feel back to myself but there are times I know I over do it and I still need time to recover.
I seem to cry a lot.. mostly because of happiness, but sometimes because I feel overwhelmed. Overwhelmed because I look at my daughter and think... "All of it, pregnancy, birth, and now, was and is so worth it."
As I reflect on my struggles of the past month, I know I have changed. Now anyone who has children can relate to me when I say I don't know how to perfectly describe this change. I think the only way to try and put it into words is that I don't think about myself first anymore. Brielle is always on my mind. Whenever I'm not with her I feel like I'm forgetting or missing something. I love her beyond anything I could have ever imagined and caring for her has brought such a joy to my life that I never knew before. I have also seen such a change in Luke, a softness I have never seen; and it makes me fall in love with him in a totally new way. He is such an amazing Daddy to our daughter already.
I am so thankful Brielle came into the world the way she did, even though I felt so out of control that day. I know God had a purpose for the surprise of her position and for me not being able to deliver her naturally. I was filled with such an indescribable peace in knowing that God had this in his hands, he had Brielle's life in His hands, and what ever happened I knew I could trust Him.
I was so wild to me how calm I was through it all, and I can only give the credit to God for that. I know that his plans are always good even though we might not see it in the moment.
Below I have a collection of pictures that were taken the day Brielle was born that I have not shared yet. These pictures are so precious to me since I know we will look back on then and be able to remember what whirl wind day that was!
Life instantly became a cycle of feeding, burping, rocking, getting the baby to sleep and trying to find a balance in this new lifestyle. The lack of sleep has been a challenge and I didn't think that this would affect me as much as it has where I don't remember feeding Bri in the night. My mind seems cloudy and I forget things all the time, it's 100% worse than when I had pregnancy brain! Knowing myself I need to take more naps so that I can properly function during the day and at those early morning feedings.
My physical recovery has been one of the hardest parts and has been painful to say the least. Not being able to laugh or walk straight for the first week was so hard.. and not able to lift anything over 10 lbs for 6 weeks has been a daily struggle for me. I feel a little bit trapped in our own house since I can't go anywhere by myself since I cannot carry the carseat. Since it's been a month I can say I almost feel back to myself but there are times I know I over do it and I still need time to recover.
I seem to cry a lot.. mostly because of happiness, but sometimes because I feel overwhelmed. Overwhelmed because I look at my daughter and think... "All of it, pregnancy, birth, and now, was and is so worth it."
As I reflect on my struggles of the past month, I know I have changed. Now anyone who has children can relate to me when I say I don't know how to perfectly describe this change. I think the only way to try and put it into words is that I don't think about myself first anymore. Brielle is always on my mind. Whenever I'm not with her I feel like I'm forgetting or missing something. I love her beyond anything I could have ever imagined and caring for her has brought such a joy to my life that I never knew before. I have also seen such a change in Luke, a softness I have never seen; and it makes me fall in love with him in a totally new way. He is such an amazing Daddy to our daughter already.
I am so thankful Brielle came into the world the way she did, even though I felt so out of control that day. I know God had a purpose for the surprise of her position and for me not being able to deliver her naturally. I was filled with such an indescribable peace in knowing that God had this in his hands, he had Brielle's life in His hands, and what ever happened I knew I could trust Him.
I was so wild to me how calm I was through it all, and I can only give the credit to God for that. I know that his plans are always good even though we might not see it in the moment.
Below I have a collection of pictures that were taken the day Brielle was born that I have not shared yet. These pictures are so precious to me since I know we will look back on then and be able to remember what whirl wind day that was!
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