+ Choose Joy +

So lately, I've been extremely humbled by God grace. Not in a small way but in a "I've dealt with these things for a long time and God I need help" kinda way. Since I can remember, I've always dealt with having maybe a little more anxiety then the "normal" person. I struggle with fear everyday. It's all I've known all I can remember feeling since a young age. Due to the fact that I moved around so much in my growing up years it seemed to grow this fear of rejection and failure in my life. Moving place to place brings a certain amount of worry and stress upon a person to fit in and be accepted. As the years went by the need to be accepted has grown and grown as it has become an idol in my life. I'm going to be real, even a look or a tone in someones voice can make me feel like absolute garbage, like I'm not wanted at all. Especially from those who are closest to me. It hurts the most. It brings me to a level of rejection and loneliness I h

I guess little update is needed since it's been around a month since I posted. I feel like I blinked and woah, another month of my life is now the past. It's been a roller coaster an emotional one at that but with me, they're usually involved. Some big things that have happened, I found out how yucky my heart can be, God has reveled so much sin that I seriously need to keep working on with Him. Me and Luke got a second vehicle, I got a new job that I will start in about two weeks which is one of the most bitter sweet things of my life. I love the girls I work with but my heart is not in the work, God's leading me else where. To an administrative job in Regina Soccer offices. Something I'm super passionate about. I can't wait to have a small new beginning. :)  Also I chopped my hair, kind of a big step for me since I've had long hair for so longgg. I think this past month has had a theme of small new beginnings. It's time to start over in small ways. I th